Among the many positive benefits to participating in team sports, and perhaps the most underrated and longest lasting, are the lifelong friendships that are forged. Coaches constantly talk about the significance of culture, chemistry and camaraderie. Yes, we all want to win and to be champions, but in the end, the final scores are mostly forgotten and it’s the friendships and memories of spending time in the pursuit of a common goal that bind us.
And that is where I struggle with the current landscape of college sports that has naturally begun to seep into high school and youth athletics. The “we over me” and “team first” mantras of my days as an athlete and coach are sadly giving way to a self-centered “What’s in it for me?” and “What’s in it for my kid?” mentality.
The focus continues to shift more and more to personal branding and how much NIL (Name, Image and Likeness) money one can make. The outrageous money and the greed at the very top of the sports pyramid have led to the excessive personal pride and other negative consequences that slowly chip away at the more positive virtues of participating in sport. Only a small percentage of student-athletes currently benefit from NIL. Yet I have already witnessed how it is leading otherwise rational parents to do incredibly irrational things while losing sight of the bigger picture.
Before you judge me as a dinosaur who is living in the past, please read on.
This topic is top of mind for me as I reflect on a recent return to Happy Valley for the Alumni and Friends of Penn State Men’s Hockey (FOPSMH) Golf Classic. In a nutshell, the way that Penn State hockey coach Guy Gadowsky and the volunteers from the FOPSMH set up the outing and their philosophy on doing NIL the right way — dare I say the Penn State Way – made me proud to be an alum. Their objective is to use NIL as a merit-based means of rewarding the student-athletes as much for academic success as athletic success. This more closely describes the original purpose of NIL.
So, I left my retirement home in Bluffton, South Carolina, last Wednesday excited to get back to see many old friends and hockey teammates. Of course, anytime I return to Happy Valley I have to make a few mandatory stops. It usually includes getting Golden Delicious apples at Way Fruit Farm, meeting for coffee with my buddies, “the Coffee Bs” at Cafe Lemont, grabbing a breakfast at the Waffle Shop, having a lunch at Champs on North Atherton, enjoying ice cream at Meyer Dairy or the Creamery (and often both!), and getting a wood fired pizza at Faccia Luna. There is just never enough time to visit all the old haunts and to see all our local friends.
On Thursday evening, the alums met at the club in Pegula Ice Arena for a reception. Whether it was seeing my former Icer teammates who played on a temporary outdoor rink during my first two years (1978-80), former Icer players that I coached at the old Greenberg Ice Pavilion (1987-2006), former varsity players that I watched at Pegula Ice Arena (2012-2023) or booster club members past and current, there is something special about getting back together with people who have a shared vision and passion. The genuine feelings of camaraderie and brotherhood were powerful for all of us.
The stories of the bonds of friendship were heard throughout the rest of the weekend. There were former Icer teammates who sponsored a hole to honor our recently deceased teammate, Dave Brodie. There were younger alums recounting the stories of recent weddings where over 20 teammates would travel from long distances to be with their brothers. There are former teammates playing in adult hockey tournaments and leagues together and gathering for annual golf trips and even trips overseas.
I find it hard to believe that these same feelings exist with athletes who abuse the transfer portal and jump from school to school for more NIL money as their priority.
One of the reasons I so looked forward to returning this year was to be here as my good friend, fellow Lion Ambassador and teammate John Davis was chosen to receive the Hockey Distinguished Alumni Award. It was my honor and privilege to introduce my good friend and former teammate. I believe I did so from the heart, without notes, because the bonds of friendship were so strong.
There was not enough time to do justice to the many accomplishments of my friend of over 40 years. To me, John is the personification of a distinguished alumnus.
He is first and foremost a devoted son, husband and father. His parents, Rich and Marty Davis, live in Hilton Head, South Carolina, so I am fortunate to get to see them at alumni events and when John visits. His mom is from my hometown and we both have PhD’s – Penn Hills Degrees! John’s wife, Karen, and his daughters, Avery and Addison, are the loves of his life, and they remain a close-knit family living outside Dallas.
John was an amazing teammate and remains a great friend to so many of us. Yes, he was an outstanding goalie and was in net for the Penn State Icers’ first National Club Championship. He walked the talk as a servant leader and was a volunteer for the Hockey Management Association, for which he served as president. He was a loyal brother at Acacia Fraternity and also served as house president. He was a devoted Lion Ambassador along with former Icer teammate Glenn DeStefano and me.
I would be remiss if I didn’t focus a bit on the significance of John’s academic pursuits as a petroleum and natural gas engineering major. That’s right, aside from devoting time as an athlete, active volunteer and student-leader, he found some spare time to be an outstanding student in a very challenging major. The dude seemed superhuman at times!
John took all the lessons from his time at PSU to work for Exxon, earn an MBA from the University of New Orleans and go on to become a highly successful entrepreneur. John co-founded Alpine Gas Company and started AVAD Energy Partners, where he currently serves as executive chairman. John’s success in his personal life and career is equaled by his incredible philanthropy and community service.
Lynn Sipe, the Icers all-time leading scorer, told me about John’s impact on him as a new player. “When I came to Penn State, JD was in his last year of playing hockey at PSU. He was a leader and set an example of how hard work in college could translate to success in life. JD treated everyone the same, played no favorites, and being a good-hearted person, he could mentor a freshman or hang out with his upper-class teammates. JD continues to be committed to PSU hockey with his continued generosity and support.”
Another teammate on the 1984 National Club Championship team was my own great friend since fourth grade, Clark Dexter. He added this about John, “JD was extremely reliable and showed up mentally as well as physically for everything. He was always positive and willing to do the hard work. He was friendly, caring and easy to talk to. He was a great teammate that we could always count on.”
Coach Gadowsky asked one of my former teammates and great friends Glenn DeStefano (another former Icer who was also a Lion Ambassador), to repeat an inspiring quote Glenn shared with him to the crowd at the alumni golf outing. Glenn did his best to paraphrase this quote from 1988 Penn State graduate Michele Nicole Roda: “From the outside looking in you, can’t begin to understand it. From the inside looking out, you can’t begin to explain it. We are. Penn State!”
Perhaps it’s these friendships and memories that are causing me to be so conflicted about the current environment in college sports. While the transfer portal and NIL are rooted in good intentions, their poor implementation and administration have left me (and many others) in turmoil with regard to their place in sports. How does a student-athlete who transfers four times ever develop the kind of feelings described above?
I want to be supportive of the welfare of student-athletes and believe they have the right to share in the record money that many of them help generate. Perhaps in a perfect world we would allow a one-time transfer as everyone deserves a second chance and one do-over. I also believe that student-athletes should be compensated for legitimate NIL instances, but I’m not happy with what NIL has become.
I do hope that people who are a lot smarter than me can lead the reforms needed to get college sports back to their foundational objectives in a common-sense manner. My greatest memories in sport are the friendships that I have been blessed to have and from which we all continue to enjoy. Friends for life.
