Now that I have “retired” and am living in an over-55 active adult community, the subject of retirement, and all its joys and trappings, has become a much more talked about topic. It’s talked about at the dog parks, church, cafés, restaurants, golf courses, pickleball courts and just about everywhere else here in our private paradise in Sun City in Bluffton, South Carolina. What I’m always puzzled to here is how little time people really spent discussing retirement plans with their spouses and children.
Don’t get me wrong, a lot of the folks we’ve met here really did do their homework and made an informed choice about moving to the Lowcountry. But there are far too many who ask some of the darnedest questions and make some head scratching comments.
“Did you know about the snakes and alligators?”
“How about the No-see-ums?”
“I didn’t realize how much I would miss the daily routine of getting up for work.”
“Can we really afford to live here?”
“I’m not sure which clubs to join — there’s so many!”
“I didn’t know there would be so many people here from (insert a state that you don’t care for here).”
I’m fascinated by the subject of retirement as it aligns so well with my principles of Pragmatic Passion. Dream big. Keep it real. Get it done! Too many folks never take the time to answer the biggest non-financial questions related to retirement: What really matters to you and what do you want? In my book, The Power of Pragmatic Passion, the first principle is all about Purpose. It’s interactive and designed to make you do an intentional and deliberate deep dive into what matters to you. Once you figure that out the rest is details.
Given the number of friends who have inquired about how our retirement is going and how we knew what, when, where and how we would retire, there seems to be a logical conclusion: People are uncertain and even frightened about retirement. I want to help those of you who fall into this category to overcome the fears by providing some insights and resources to help you find the same joy that so many of us have already found in active adult retirement living.
No one on their deathbed ever said, “I wish I would have spent more time at the office.”
While there is a lot of truth in this old saying, it’s not always that clear cut. Some people really should have worked harder or longer when they had the chance. I realize circumstances may have intervened in the form of addiction, untimely deaths, mental health issues, etc. But for most of the people that I seek to help, they have simply avoided asking themselves the tough questions required to make an informed decision about when to retire, what to do in retirement (which can, by the way, include still working, just at something different or scaled back hours), where to retire and how to do it.
That’s where the idea of hiring a retirement coach makes a lot of sense. Principle #5 in my book is “Inspiration” and it’s all about having mentors and coaches in your life. Having the courage to discuss the hard topics and ask the difficult questions is what a coach can help you discover.
In a column by Will Kenton on the New Retirement website titled 6 Ways a Life Coach Can Improve Your Retirement, he states, “A financial advisor or an online retirement planner can help you with your finances. A retirement coach can help you be mentally and emotionally prepared for what happens when your career ends.”
He cites the following six ways a coach can help you figure out how to navigate your next stage of life:
1. Identifying What is Important to You
2. Measuring Personal Success
3. Developing a Schedule
4. Planning for Good Health and Accepting Physical Limitations
5. Changing Social Circles
6. Develop a New Relationship with Your Spouse and Other Family Members
I am a Kiplinger’s subscriber and a timely article by Andrew Rosen on the Kiplinger financial site titled “Being Rich vs. Being Wealthy: What’s The Difference?” also addresses the non-financial aspects of retirement.
Rosen dissects the age-old question “Are You Rich or Wealthy?” He points out that most people think of the word rich in a financial way, meaning money, real estate and other assets. In fact, he mentions that Harvard has conducted a long-running study, since 1938, that shows the happiest retirees had similar traits when it came to their mindset, not their bank account. He believes “wealthy people” have less regrets and more joy in their lives independent of their finances.
In my book I discuss the ancient Greek philosophy of Arete, the blending of body, mind and spirit. It aligns well with both Kenton and Rosen’s beliefs that focus on the intangibles more than hard assets.
Personally, I am probably overdoing it a bit on the “body” part. Between softball, pickleball and golf alone, I’ve already had the pulled hamstring, pulled quad and pulled calf muscle. I affectionately refer to it as the Sun City Hat Trick.
Regarding my “mind”, I’m reading articles, columns and books, so much more than ever before, and listening to podcasts, attending workshops and Civil War roundtable discussions. I’m especially happy to be watching less television. I’ve also put my money where my mouth is and eliminated all social media platforms except LinkedIn, which unfortunately could be next because it’s becoming more and more of a Facebook-lite.
As for my “spirit”…it is here where I believe I am making the biggest strides. My wife Heidi and I read the Bible more than ever, have found an energizing Bible-based church and are part of a Bible study with amazing people of faith. I’ve still got a long way to go but feel like I’m giving my own faith walk the priority it has always deserved. I’m involved in the Fellowship of Christian Athletes with the University of South Carolina at Beaufort (USCB) that recently elevated its programs to NCAA Division II level.
What are you doing to develop your own body, mind and spirit?
I can’t tell you exactly what to do, as “one person’s junk is another’s treasure.” But I hope I can inspire those of you who are in a life transition (high school to post-high school, career and job opportunities, family situations and, of course, retirement) to consider hiring a life coach or retirement coach to assist you in a deeper dive into the juicy parts of life that really matter. We can all spend more intentional time charting a course that will take us to the destinations (because there can be more than one!) that we have identified through deliberate thought.
Some people are at peace being defined by their jobs, and you know what? If that works for you then super! I believe that most of you will run out of time before you will run out of money.
I attended a friend’s retirement party a few weeks ago. He was retiring from a very successful career a few years before “normal” retirement age. The job he was leaving, however, was stressful and had consumed him. He suffered a medical event and is going to be spending significant time resting and on medication the rest of his life and may be very limited in what physical activities he can do. Money he’s got, but because of his health, how much time he has left is not as certain.
Did the act of retiring, or the stress of the unknowns of post-work life trigger the event? Had the years of being a workaholic caught up to him? Could it all be related to family history and simply be a coincidence? I don’t know the answers, but it’s just another reason why you must have intentional and deliberate conversations about being “Rich vs. Wealthy.”
None of us knows when our time will come. As comedian Red Foxx, as Fred Sanford, clutching his chest, would exaggeratingly say, “Elizabeth, it’s coming, it’s the big one. I’m coming to join you honey.“ My advice to everyone, especially those entering their retirement years, is to keep yourself active physically, mentally and spiritually. Don’t be afraid to spend some of your money to find a good life and/or retirement coach.
