She has a zest for life that exceeds anyone else that I know, an energy level that would be impressive for a woman 30 years younger. How to describe her approach to life? I simply can’t avoid a pun that makes a point: “Joyce de vivre.”
Only a remarkable woman could raise 14 kids—nine biological and five adopted—including two sets of twins and one child with special needs. That’s why it was a no-brainer for me to choose the amazing Joyce Porter as Happy Valley’s “Mother of the Year,” an honor I bestow each year before Mother’s Day.
With this selection, Joyce takes her place beside three other monarchs of maternity:
- Sue Paterno was my selection in 2019. Not only did the wife of Joe Paterno raise five children and send them all to Penn State, but she offered motherly support and academic tutoring to at least 60 of her husband’s football players during a span of nearly 50 years.
- Kim Sublett, my choice in 2020, is the mother of three biological and six adopted children. And she also applies her skills in caring for children by serving as the Kids Director for Calvary Church’s Boalsburg congregation.
- Lydia Abdullah, last year’s honoree, is the mother of “only” two children, but she’s legendary for her empathy and the comforting hugs she has dispensed at home, at her church (Unity Church of Jesus Christ) and on the Penn State campus where she served as a staff member for 42 years.
MOTIVATION FOR MOTHERING
So what’s the motivation for this super-mom, Joyce Porter, who chose to adopt five kids after giving birth to nine? I posed that question to Dave Porter, her husband for nearly 55 years, and he says that his sweetheart was definitely cut out to be a mom.
“She always loved babies, and she still does,” says the owner of Porter Paint & Wallcovering. “And she always loved being pregnant, which almost no women can believe. But she did.”
I also talked with Corrie Porter, Dave and Joyce’s 12th child, now 19 and a Penn State student. She noted that her friends from State High or Penn State also ask the “why” question. “They’re shocked to hear how big our family is,” Corrie says. “They just think, ‘Why would a person want 14 kids? How is she able to do it?’ I just go along and say, ‘I don’t really know, but it works out and it’s fun.”
Dan Nold, the Porters’ pastor at Calvary Church, gave me this perspective: “I think she’s a mom through and through. ‘Mom’ is not just how she relates to her kids and other family; it’s kind of how she relates to everybody. She’s got a big heart.”
And then I turned to Jeff Shoemaker, husband of the Porters’ fourth child, Katie. I’m happy to call Jeff a friend, having met him in 2013 when he served as the loan officer for a home purchase by my wife and me. As a son-in-law to Joyce for 30 years, he could offer valuable insights.
EMBRACING THE CHAOS
“Some people go out of their way to avoid chaos at all costs,” Shoemaker says. “Joyce is one of those people that thrives in the midst of chaos. So whether it’s having several dogs (the Porters have six) or lots of kids, she thrives with it.
“Even in her 60s,” Shoemaker continues, “she could still act like a mother in her 20s. With our kids when they were young, she would have a lot of enthusiasm, down on the floor with them, rolling around, acting goofy.” (Joyce and Dave now have 15 grandchildren, including several who are adopted.)
It’s obvious that Jeff Shoemaker is far from critical when talking about his mother-in-law. “I adore her,” he says. “We have agreed to disagree on politics and a bunch of different things and we get along really well. I’ll never forget when David (the Shoemakers’ son, now 21) was young and Payton (the Porters’ 11th child) was a year older, Joyce made a comment. She said, ‘Let’s just agree. You don’t tell me how to raise my kid, and I’ll never tell you how to raise yours.’ It was very appropriate, very clear and very much appreciated.
“As Joyce would say herself, she’s not perfect. But at the end of the day, her life is all about love of family and love of Christ. She puts all of her eggs in that basket—if it’s in Christ’s hands, that’s what it is.”
CHOOSING TO ADOPT
If ever there was a watershed moment in the Porters’ family life, it was when Dave and Joyce decided to adopt. It was Joyce’s idea—sparked by reports she had read about abandonment or abortion of unwanted children during China’s one-child policy of 1980 to 2015. As for Dave, the notion had absolutely no appeal when Joyce mentioned it in 1996.
“There had not been even an inkling that she was considering adoption,” Dave recalls. “But I came home one day, and she said, ‘I think God’s calling us to adopt a Chinese child.’ And I said, ‘You’re crazy. We already have nine kids and we can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel.’ And she said, ‘You’re selfish.’ And I certainly wasn’t going to deny that.
“So then she said, ‘Well, pray about it,’ and I did. And it was clear. Normally, I just use circumstances in making decisions. But there are certain times that I know God is talking to me. And this was obvious. So we got started (on the adoption process), and it was the best thing we ever did as a family.”
The first to be adopted from China was initially thought to be a girl, but an administrative error had been made, and that little girl turned out to be a young man the Porters named Sam. They loved him immediately and then happily added Payton, also from China, to their family a couple years later.
ANOTHER SET OF TWINS?
Next, Joyce yearned to adopt twins. Her own biological twins, Micah and Megan, were only 11 years old at the time, but Joyce loved twin interaction so much that she hoped for more. As for Dave, he was fully supportive of adoption by this time—but perhaps a set of twins seemed like a stretch.
Pastor Dan Nold recalls a memorable moment in the process of that adoption. “We were living on Smithfield Street,”Nold says, “and Dave was painting the outside of our house. He was high up on a ladder and Joyce came around the corner to tell him she had found twins to adopt. He almost fell off the ladder. But for Joyce, it was as natural and normal as anything else to adopt more children.”
And so, Corrie and Clarre, now 19 years old, left their birth land of Vietnam for a new home in Happy Valley. And the family became complete a few years later when Joie—she is also from Vietnam—came to the Porters’ home on Osmond Street. With her arrival, the Porter children’s span of ages reached 38 years from the oldest “kid” (Bobby is 52) to the youngest (Joie is 14). Now think about that. Has any Centre County mom changed as many diapers in as many decades as Joyce Porter?
HEARTBREAKING EXPERIENCE
Dave Porter is not exactly the mystical type, but ever since undergoing a born-again experience in the early 1970s, he’s kept his spiritual ear attuned to God. He’s had only a few experiences when he sensed God speaking to him, but each was foundational.
The decision to adopt actually stemmed from Dave’s second such experience. The first took place way back in 1985, and it concerned the birth of the Porters’ sixth child.
“I had a very clear revelation that we were going to have a handicapped child,” recalls Dave. “It was very clear. When he was born, Joyce was distraught but I expected it. God was preparing me to at least be ready for it.”
As for Joyce, she was devastated when she delivered a little boy with Down Syndrome. “Oh, I was sick,” she says. “It was heartbreaking.”
ADVENTURES WITH MATT
Fortunately, Joyce had a strong faith in her heart and a strong man beside her. (“There couldn’t be a Joyce without a Dave,” Pastor Nold says.) The Porters prayed hard and worked hard, tirelessly teaching and loving Matt. And as Dave explains, their parenting of Matt was based on one key principle. “We decided right away to treat him just like any other kid but of course, knowing he had limitations.”
If Matt’s birth some 36 years ago was “heartbreaking,” his current life is nothing short of fabulous. He works full-time at Weis Market on Westerly Parkway, makes his own money and has loads of friends. Says Joyce, “Everywhere we go, people know him. We call him the mayor of State College.”
Adds Shoemaker, “People say Matt is the most positive guy in the world. If you’ve ever spent time with anyone who has Downs, you know they’re loving, caring people. And if you take that and you multiply that times 13 siblings, two loving parents and a loving family, it’s a great success.”
Things didn’t go smoothly during Matt’s childhood, however. According to Shoemaker, “he was hell on wheels, really high energy.” Even Joyce, who beams over the wonderful adult that Matt has become, admits, “He was out of control.”
Stories abound to illustrate Matt’s youthful recklessness, like the time the family was eating a meal at the old Taco Bell on College Avenue. Matt, perhaps inspired by the football uniform and helmet that he was wearing, suddenly ran out the door and right into a car. He wasn’t hurt because, after all, he was wearing a helmet and because the car was moving slowly.
Now, as an adult, Matt is “such a blessing to our family,” according to Joyce. And Dave is just as proud of him. “Matt always remembers everybody’s birthday and always buys a gift,” he says. “Of all our kids, he is the most conscious of his brothers’ and sisters’ feelings.”
TRIAL BY TEENAGERS
Dave Barry, columnist and humorist, has said that “a perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children.” Dave and Joyce Porter would be among the first to say, “Amen.”
Despite their remarkable success in building a large, loving family, the Porters freely admit there were some tough times. “Some of our kids certainly gave us struggles,” Joyce says. “We had at least two who got involved in drugs, and that was very heartbreaking. What can you do but depend on God?”
Dave agrees, noting that “there were some times when it was dark. I remember with one of our daughters we didn’t even know where she was. It was a scary time, but it turned out that she was all right. We made it through.”
And there were positive outcomes from those difficult times. Like their growth as a couple. Although they still sometimes lock horns over household matters (Joyce is a stalwart “saver” and Dave is a committed “throw-awayer”), they both agree they grew in their love for each other while dealing with struggling adolescents.
HAPPY DAYS
In some respects, Joyce’s job of mothering is nearly done. “Now it’s easy,” she says. “I only have one who needs any care (14-year-old Joie), and I hardly ever see her. She’s in ninth grade and she’s a busy woman.”
Of course, Joyce isn’t one to sit on her couch and do nothing, even though she’s in her 70s and deals with diabetes, rheumatoid arthritis, kidney trouble and a heart that required surgery in 2012. But she says, “For all the debilitating diseases that I have, I feel really good.” And after all, there is too much to do and too many people—especially family members—to care about.
Joyce and Dave are constantly visiting their children and grandchildren in locales as far away as Miami (Luke, their 7th child), Charleston (Sam), and Colorado Springs (Clarre, a cadet at the Air Force Academy). Other “kids” live within this region—Micah, his wife and their three kids in Carlisle; Micah’s twin, Megan, in Culpepper, Virginia with her husband and three children (two are adopted); and Payton is about to graduate from Penn State Behrend.
And then there are the State College residents: Bobby; Heidi, who is married with three kids; Krista, married with two kids; Katie, married (to Jeff) with two kids; Andy, married with two children; Corrie, at Penn State and, of course, Matt and Joie.
FAMILY IS HER LEGACY
What will be the legacy of Joyce Porter? No doubt it can be summarized in one word—family. As Jeff Shoemaker says of his dear mother-in-law, “You have a woman who has unselfishly had 14 children in her life. At age 59 she adopted her last child. Her example to others is just to follow your heart as you think God is steering it.
“I think Joyce would probably say that you might not want to do it her way, but there’s merit in how she does things. And there’s merit to her family.”
