My father was a Russian. My mother was a Russian. Me, I’m justa takin’ my time. – Dad Jokes
Time, like the weather, is a life variable that we all fret over but seem to have little control over. As you get older time takes on an entirely different meaning as those of us in the fourth quarter of life know all too well. We are no longer those invincible teenagers and fearless young adults of our past.
Ben Thornton, a mentor of mine with the FCA Coaches Bible Study at USC-Beaufort, recently passed along this gem from legendary “60 Minutes” contributor Andy Rooney: “I’ve learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.”
But time, as they say, is relative. So, should we go faster as we grow older to make the most of our time on the planet? Or do we slow down and savor every moment as best we can? Perhaps, like most things in life, it’s a little of each.
We get all kinds of conflicting advice about time during our lives, many of which are contradictory and confusing. Some common quotes related to time include:
“There is more to life than simply increasing its speed.” — Mahatma Gandhi
“There are no speed limits on the road to success.” — David W. Johnson, Social Psychologist
“Hustle makes up for many a mistake.” — John Wooden
“More hurry, less speed.” — Proverbs of John Heywood
“Speed magnifies mistakes. The faster we play the more mistakes we can cause our opponents to make, and we can take advantage of their weaknesses.” — Herb Brooks
“Slow is smooth. Smooth is Fast.” — Navy Seals expression
“Measure twice. Cut once.” — English Proverb
“The second-best decision in time is infinitely better than the perfect decision too late.” — Gen. Omar Bradley
“Well begun is half-done” — Aristotle
“How did it get so late so soon? It’s night before it’s afternoon. December is here before it’s June. My goodness how the time has flewn. How did it get so late so soon?” — Dr. Seuss
“It’s a marathon, not a sprint.” — Dr. Phil
“I feel the need…The need for speed!” — Maverick and Goose in “Top Gun”
Then there is the one I hear a lot these days from my wife about my driving: “What’s the rush?! You know you’re not racing.”
Oh boy, am l going to have some fun with this topic. I can just see all my friends who follow every law to the T and never allow for the gray area on the “intent of a law” getting their shorts all up in a bunch.
Sorry, but a lot of us just can’t turn off that competitive gene because it is simply a part of our DNA. Speed, quickness and transitions matter. It’s channeling my inner Mario Andretti. Gen Zs are asking, “Mario who?” It’s about getting out of the parking lot faster. It’s making the gas stop into a NASCAR pit stop. It’s all about making it through the next light (especially important on Highway 278 near Bluffton!).
I am certainly not in the “Fast and Furious” category for aggressive driving, but my wife and kids will tell you that I have your basic lead foot and I’m going to err on the side of going through yellow (and occasional pink) lights at intersections. I’m more “assertive” than aggressive. At least that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
In all seriousness folks, I am not advocating careless or reckless driving. In fact, I am embracing the slower pace these days. I have felt the great power of the dopamine hit from slowing down to let someone go before me in crowded traffic. The feelgood of letting another driver turn ahead of me even when I reached the stop sign first.
However, there is one thing about a certain group of drivers that makes me want to go all Vesuvius and maybe even get a flying elbow or high sticking penalty. The dreaded “Left Lane Slowpoke (LLS).”
Oh yeah, you know who you are. You’re those people with either a total lack of situational awareness or you are trying to use America’s highways to prove some personal agenda. You drive the rest of us nuts for hanging out in the left lane, especially on the three-lane-plus highways where you are at least in part guilty for creating the crazy drivers who zip in and out and put the rest of us at risk.
![](https://www.statecollege.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/battista-6-18-24.jpg)
My disdain for LLS is much exasperated since I moved to the South Carolina Lowcountry (AKA Slow Country) and have to drive on I-95 or I-77 when heading north, or daily on our local Highway 278 that leads to Hilton Head Island. The topic of slow drivers here is almost as hot as the political divide in our country, but not quite to the level of which college football team you root for in the state.
For the record LLS: Slow driving in the left lane is against the law!
Click on the link above to learn all about the Uniform Vehicle Code, which states: Upon all roadways any vehicle proceeding at less than the normal speed of traffic at the time and place and under the conditions then existing shall be driven in the right-hand lane then available for traffic. This law refers to the “normal” speed of traffic, not the “legal” speed of traffic. The 60 MPH driver in a 55 MPH zone where everybody else is going 65 MPH must move right.
You have probably heard a story about the police pulling over an LLS and giving them a ticket for being in the left lane. The LLS driver vehemently argues that the officer should be ticketing the people going over the speed limit. The officer’s response? “I’ll worry about the speeders; you worry about your role of holding up traffic.”
Here’s an NPR piece to help educate you LLS a little more: “Don’t Be a Slowpoke: Why Left Lane Driving Causes Traffic”. It’s all about the flow of traffic and situational awareness folks. In most of the U.S., it’s a state law. The signs are everywhere: SLOWER TRAFFIC KEEP RIGHT and “Keep Right Except to Pass.”
Don’t be that person. There are always going to be the crazies out there who zip in and out and give reasonable drivers a severe case of heartburn. But if you would stay out of the left lane and let the traffic flow, common sense says there would be less of a chance that as many people would do the crazy weaving in and out.
Situational awareness is a common-sense neighborly superpower. For instance, everyone should drive more carefully during bad weather. If you are standing in line to checkout at Walmart or Costco and have enough food for a small army while a person behind you only has a few items, use your superpower to let them sneak ahead. That’s a “Good Neighbor” that Jake from State Farm would applaud. Next time someone is trying to make a turn in city traffic, and they decide to be that nice person who lets you cross in front (even though you are staring at that orange hand that says ”Don’t Walk!”), hustle a bit and give a thank you wave. That’s good situational awareness.
I am not quite to the “Get off my grass” curmudgeon stage just yet. So, I still identify more with middle-aged adults than crusty old folks who just need something or someone to yell at. There are times when I wish I had embraced a more laid-back pace of living earlier in my life. Yup, that multi-tasking “I can do it all” pace doesn’t mean you can always get it done faster just because you move quicker.
I will make a deal with you Left Lane Slowpokes. If y’all would work on that situational awareness thing and drive in the right lane (except when passing of course). I will keep working on slowing down my Northerner habit of going at breakneck speed. For my fellow “assertive” drivers, I know it’s hard to embrace the slower pace when most of your life has been lived in the fast lane. Embrace the pace!