May has always been a fun, memory-making month for many. The May flowers are blooming, the weather is getting better, and many Americans are starting to get their tax refunds so get outside and start making new memories.
The month kicks off with traditional May Day festivals, Star Wars Day (May the Fourth Be with You), Cinco de Mayo and the annual Run for the Roses at The Kentucky Derby. And that’s just the first week! May is even designated “Older Americans Month” – I resemble that remark — and “Better Hearing and Speech Month” which has taken on a whole new meaning for me since losing 50% of my hearing to a virus 10 years ago.
It’s also the month for one of the best holidays for one of the most deserving groups of all: Mother’s Day. According to The History Channel, more phone calls (almost 40%) are made on Mother’s Day than any other day of the year. May is a time for proms and graduation ceremonies, it’s the start of wedding season, and it’s the “unofficial” start of summer, with Memorial Day picnics and celebrations and the Indianapolis 500.
Speaking of proms, last Wednesday night I helped chaperone over 300 middle school and high school students at our LowCountry Youth Ministry Prom Night. It’s a unique event focused more on fellowship and the love of God, and the kids proved you can have a great time dancing and being with friends without some of the negatives associated with many traditional proms.
May 18 is a particularly special day of remembrance for me. It will mark seven years since the death of my best friend and mentor, Lt. Colonel Richard “Dick” Bartolomea. Anyone who really knew the Colonel knows why so many of us miss him so immensely. Not a day goes by without me thinking of one of his sayings (see my column about the Colonel from May 2017). He had this way of picking you up when you were down and giving you the kick in the butt when you really needed it.
The Colonel was first and foremost a devoted husband and father. He was a fierce patriot who loved our country and he put service before leadership in everything that he did. When I think back to life lessons that the Colonel taught so many of us, it brings a huge smile to my face. Whether it was the Marines under his command, the ROTC students at Penn State, the people he worked with at the Penn State Athletics Multi-Sport Facility (MSF), or the tens of thousands of young people he helped influence as director of the Penn State Sports Camps, the Colonel had an amazing impact on all of us.
I so miss the early morning coffee gatherings at his conference room in the MSF, whether it was a one-on-one session or included several athletic department colleagues. Perhaps my best memories of all would be on Sunday afternoons walking nine holes of golf at Skytop Mountain Golf Course, where he worked part-time. There is even a plaque in his honor on a hole and a bridge named for him at the course.
It was never about the golf, as neither of us ever worried about how we played. It was about spending time together and talking in a peaceful and serene setting. Oh, there was an occasional “You Communist” thrown out when he would hit an errant shot, but most of the time we just walked and talked.
In fact, I was lucky enough to be present for his first ever hole-in-one on the 13th hole. He hit what he believed to be a bad tee shot and yelled “You Communist” and then turned away in frustration. We were playing with our good friend and colleague Tim Curley, and we watched as Dick’s ball landed to the right of the green, bounced off a mound and onto the green. Tim said, “Colonel, your ball rolled onto the green.
Colonel, it’s looking good.” Then we both shouted, “It’s in the hole!” The Colonel was so busy trying to figure out why his shot went to the right he didn’t even see the ball go in the hole!
My wife, Heidi, and I were blessed to become great friends with the Bartolomea family, and that friendship lasts to this very day. The Colonel would be so proud of the accomplishments of his children, their spouses and his grandchildren. He would also be proud of his wife, Julie, who remains the classy, elegant, strong, smart and giving person she has always been.
Julie recently traveled south to spend time with us in The Lowcountry. We thoroughly enjoyed our time at Hilton Head Beach, in Port Royal and Old Town Bluffton. It was especially great taking Julie to the Marine Corp Museum on Parris Island. We could have spent the entire day there, and it brought back a flood of emotions for Julie. We toured Old Savannah, Georgia, on a trolley car and visited the Prohibition Museum, which includes going into the speakeasy and having an adult beverage at the bar. We went to the rooftop bar at the JW Marriott and watched an enormous container ship pass under the Talmadge Bridge that crosses the Savannah River.
While we enjoyed all the usual sights and sounds of the Lowcountry during Julie’s visit, it was spending time talking about her husband, their kids and her grandkids that we enjoyed the most. We reminisced about the time that Dick and I played intramural summer softball together at Penn State with his staff from the MSF and Sport Camps office. There was a game when we both got injured just running to first base! We were sitting in the medical gator afterward with ice on our pulled hamstrings just laughing at each other.
We all so miss the Colonel. To her credit, Julie continues to volunteer to serve others in State College, and she travels with friends and family all over the country and around the world. While it would be even better with the Colonel by her side, she makes it clear that she feels his spirit in her heart no matter where she goes. She told me that Dick is scoping out all the best courses to play in Heaven when we all gather again someday in the future.
With Memorial Day just around the corner, I was thrilled to be asked to participate in the Military Appreciation Day Softball Tournament. I’m humbled to be able to recognize and honor our veterans, especially the Colonel and my father, by playing in the military-themed softball tournament that we will host at Veterans Memorial Park in Sun City Hilton Head. We’ll be playing against teams from the local Parris Island Marine Corps Recruiting Depot in South Carolina and Hunter Army Airfield Base in Savannah. They will have a considerable age advantage over us (as in much younger), but the purpose of the tournament is to provide a fun experience and to honor the members of the military and their families.
For me, May truly is a month for making memories. I hope you make the most of your time with family and friends, get outside and enjoy making memories of your own.
