When Town&Gown celebrated its 30th anniversary in January 1996, Mimi Barash Coppersmith started her column Lunch with Mimi to feature notable people at Penn State and in the community. That first issue featured former State College mayor Arnold Addison. Each month since then, for more than two and a half decades, she has sat down with various people from all walks of life and backgrounds, capturing the history of Happy Valley.
In the February 2018 issue of Town&Gown, Mimi interviewed me to introduce me as the general manager of Barash Media. I was so deeply honored to join this exclusive list of Lunch with Mimi interviewees. Becoming the general manager of Barash Media was a dream job and the culmination of years of hard work, starting from an unpaid intern to being entrusted to steer the magazine and its sister Centre County Gazette to new heights. In my Lunch with Mimi interview, I talked about how my connection to Town&Gown started when I first visited Penn State on my college tour. My father had handed me a copy of the March 2001 issue of Town&Gown, in which he had bookmarked the Women in the Community section, and said, “You should read these profiles; you never know if one of these women will be influential in your life.”
As Mimi often says, it was “bashert,” the Yiddish word for destiny, or it was meant to be. Sadly, my father passed away from cancer in June 2007, two months before Mimi would hire me as an editorial assistant at Town&Gown. I never imagined that for the next 15 years, even after I left Barash Media to work for Penn State, I would write the introductions for and edit Lunch with Mimi interviews, and now have the privilege to be part of the closing chapter of this column.
Mimi, who celebrated her 89th birthday in June, now lives at the Atrium in the Village at Penn State. Although she continues to find ways to make a difference through her philanthropic efforts, she recognizes the realities of aging and the need to relinquish certain demands on her time and energies to focus on her overall well-being and health.
This September Lunch with Mimi column will be the final one. In this reverse interview, I talk with Mimi to get her perspective on aging and share her infinite wisdom on life and lessons learned, while she thanks readers for taking the time each month to indulge in her insightful point of view.
Vilma: So, Mimi, we’re here on this beautiful day at the Village at Penn State.
Mimi: Vilma, while waiting for you, I thought of the day I first met you. You were applying for an internship at Town&Gown. And you impressed me. There were some complications to employing you legally, and fortunately, a U.S. senator was a good friend of mine. And it’s the only time in my political life that I called a politician to see if he could do something for me. I called him, and we got your immigration status all figured out.
Vilma: Yes. Thank you.
Mimi: I think you started as an unpaid intern.
Vilma: Yes, I was an unpaid intern for a whole year. After I graduated from Penn State in 2007, Town&Gown had a position open for an editorial and advertising assistant, so I came in to apply for that job. I remember interviewing with David Pencek, the former editor. Towards the end of the interview, he said there were a couple of other candidates, but he’ll let me know soon, and that is when you walked into the room. You looked at me and said, “I remember you; you were the intern who sat near the bathrooms. You worked hard and were in the office Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays from 11 a.m. until 5 p.m.” You hired me on the spot and asked if I could start the following week.
Mimi: Well, you’re a very bright woman. I have always felt you could do anything you decided to do. And for this interview, I’d like you to tell our readers how your career has ascended because of your ability to adapt to opportunities.
Vilma: Well, thank you for those kind words. I am a Penn State graduate with a triple major in English, French, and economics. When I started at Barash, I knew I would excel in writing and editing, but I didn’t have an advertising background. However, I am a fast learner and willing to take on new challenges. Barash Media gave me the opportunity to learn every aspect of the publishing business from editorial and advertising to operations and becoming the general manager and publisher of Town&Gown and The Centre County Gazette.
After 13 wonderful years at Barash Media, I was offered an opportunity to work at Penn State as a public relations specialist for Teaching and Learning with Technology, which combined my passion for writing and editing with my love for technology. At Penn State, I am now a service liaison for Penn State Information Technology, implementing and maintaining IT services such as Canvas, Learning Tools, the Penn State Go mobile app, Zoom, and Kaltura.
Mimi: Well, we both developed a deep respect for one another. How did that happen?
Vilma: I think we are very similar. First off, we are both hardworking women from immigrant backgrounds. You used to say that you had a fear of failure, and you had strict parents who instilled life lessons such as hard work and excelling in school. I grew up the same way, so we recognize those traits and have mutual respect for one another.
Mimi: So, we’ll shift now to what happens when one retires. I am so grateful—and I feel brave—that I’m putting myself to the test and can make this interview helpful to other aging people because it’s such a “shush-shush” subject. One is thrust into an environment that is totally foreign to your existence. You have frightening dreams. When you were not as old, you could solve problems. But the actuality of knowing you can’t solve something that was part of your suitcase before just gives you more resolve. And perhaps the most important message I have to others is to seek mental health help before you have a crash landing.
My first experience was after a crash landing, and every experience since then has been pretty much a crash landing. We all need to realize that we’re not perfect. We can’t necessarily complete what we could just two months ago. But somehow, we have to learn how to be kind to ourselves and find that little space that helps us have a conversation that makes sense. My dream for this interview is that it makes sense to people who are troubled.
My greatest joy in life, then and now, is making other people happy, doing favors for them, and raising money for a scholarship that maybe nobody else could have done. Step up—whatever stage in your life—and make a difference. As you get older, that’s more and more of a struggle. But the struggle can be good. It can give you an incentive to figure out how to put the struggle to rest.
This interview for me is meant to be a thank-you to our readers because you and I have served them well, at no charge. And to encourage people to use Town&Gown magazine to highlight sensitive historical questions and issues that the elderly’s input might help.
Vilma: How did you decide to move into a retirement community? I know that decision was probably not easy for you.
Mimi: I know why I did it. I didn’t want my children to have to make the decision. And I was feeling myself getting more forgetful than normal. Facing reality is the hardest job we have in life, good or bad. I didn’t ask for their advice. I went ahead and decided what I was going to do and told them. And, to my shock, my daughters both said the same thing: “I’m so proud of you.” Because I took a real burden off their shoulders, so here I am, in a facility where I’m able to do some real thinking, like trying to engage in life today and pass on to others the reality of facing hard decisions because they matter. They matter so much in your own survival. I knew when I should get rid of my car. And hard as that was, I got rid of my car.
So, this interview, for me, is about the combination of two people who have worked together under a variety of conditions and have remained loyal to one another in every respect, even as our lives change and even as we go into the shadow of ourselves. And it sort of proves to me that people in your life make a bigger difference than you can ever estimate. One should not underestimate that potential.
Vilma: We have a pretty big age difference, but that didn’t seem to matter to both of us.
Mimi: Well, you’re as old as my children. So, you’re my third child, after Town&Gown.
Vilma: Thank you. I feel very honored for you to say that. When I started at Barash, my mother didn’t live in this country, and my father had passed away, so I looked up to you as my State College mom. You guided me and gave me advice, both professionally and personally. You are my biggest cheerleader.
Mimi: Well, I’m happiest when I’m helping others, before and after COVID, because one thing that has survived in my real life is my yen to help others because it helps me so much. I don’t know how that happened. But I encourage readers to do something significant for other people. The world is thinking about the reverse. That’s sheer horror to me.
Vilma: What is some of the advice that you might be able to give to people about aging?
Mimi: Never give up. I wake up some mornings just a mess. And somehow, before the day is over, I’m engaged in conversation, as we are, trying to make sense out of the complexity. When you take the time, you can be constructive. You can offer help. You can have friends that help you out of your ruts. I’m trying to get out some wisdom. It’s not my finest moment.
Vilma: Let’s turn it around. What do you think is the most rewarding thing about getting older?
Mimi: People’s respect. People who tell you thank you for all you’ve done for the community.
Vilma: This might be a fun question. If you could go back to any age, what age would that be? And why?
Mimi: I think when I was a tomboy. I had braided hair, and I was always playing some sports. I was working at my father’s grocery store. One of my favorite things to do as a little girl was to put the price on the cans of food that were in the window. I made the signs, and I was so proud to have them in the window of my father’s Capitol Grocery in Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania. And I remember all that.
This is one thing that’s good about aging—old things come back. I remember when the union for Blue Ribbon Pastry came into our store, took all that food, threw it in the middle of the street, and said we told you not to stock those. And I was old enough to realize what a nasty thing to do. And that’s why I’ve always had mixed emotions about understanding unions. You don’t give away someone else’s bread, spoil it, just for your personal goal. And that has never left me.
Another thing that has never left me, one of my joyous moments, is cutting the raw chicken for sale to people. My father’s store was one of the stores that first had cut-up chicken. You used to have to buy the whole thing. And I used to love to do that with my father. It is just a lasting memory. And whenever I cut a chicken, I have loving thoughts of my father.
Vilma: What do you remember about your mother?
Mimi: Well, my mother and I had similar personalities. I think we both thought we were always right. But I also learned a lot from her. She was a hard worker. I learned from her how you overcome adversity. God forbid when you lose a child. My parents lost two children. One was my brother at 20 years of age, in the second World War. And the second one was my older sister, who committed suicide. And my parents, particularly my mother, had to overcome both of those losses and carry on. And I’ve had my share of losses. But that event taught me to put my boots on and get things done under great pressure. What I didn’t do and should have done is get mental health assistance prior to being too old.
Vilma: So, what happened that motivated you to seek out mental health?
Mimi: After I caught my third husband cheating on me, I had an experience where I stopped myself from killing myself, from taking a bottle of aspirin pills. I don’t think I’ve ever said that out loud. But that awakened me to getting help. I don’t know where I got the courage to stop myself. But I was lucky enough to get the courage and be given a whole lot more years to live, love, and be happy. And for that, I’m forever grateful. And I’m still being helped. I couldn’t make it without help. And I’m proud to admit it.
Vilma: Sorry, I’m tearing up.
Mimi: I encourage everybody lucky enough to be a member of this club called retired to do everything they can to protect every piece of energy they have before losing too much of it. And that’s really my message. I can’t help but thank the readers of this Lunch with Mimi column and bid it farewell. It’s been my joy, a real personal joy, to be able to do Lunch with Mimi for a long, long time and to confirm historical details that will live on into perpetuity.
Vilma: When did you decide to start the Lunch with Mimi column?
Mimi: It was Whit Yeagley’s idea when he was the editor. He thought it would be a good idea for me to interview people, and that’s when it began.
Vilma: What are some of the most memorable Lunch with Mimi interviews?
Mimi: The second Lunch with Mimi I did was with Joe Paterno, and I forgot to turn the recorder on. So, believe it or not, I had to call Joe Paterno back and do it all over again. My first interview, I think, was with Arnold Addison. He was something. He and I were often at odds, so I decided to start with him so we could make it a good interview. I believe, eventually, a review of this complete log of interviews captures every kind of aspect of history in Happy Valley. It has no boundaries, and I hope Town&Gown finds a way to continue it because it’s a good historical record of the community, interviewing people on what’s happening at this moment.
Vilma: Although I think that no one can do it better than you do.
Mimi: Oh, I’m not sure of that, but I’ll take the compliment.
Vilma: How do you want to be remembered?
Mimi: I want to be remembered as a fair person, as a kind person, as a person who didn’t hesitate to express her point of view, as a person who believed in equality for everyone. Our country is at high risk right now, and I’m not giving a political speech, but I can’t stop myself. So, I guess I want to be remembered as someone who, if you want to get a job done, ask Mimi.
Vilma: You had a little plaque in your office that says, “When all else fails, ask Mimi.”
Mimi: You know who that’s from? Barbara and Jim Palmer’s daughter, Janet Palmer.
Vilma: What are your thoughts about living in a retirement community?
Mimi: Well, you know, the brain is an interesting organ. None of us know when it will be a good or bad brain day. I have good days and bad days. This day, I would put it in the middle. There are some people that, when I talk with them, I start feeling better. I start feeling like I’m having a real conversation on a real subject, which still happens rather frequently. But there’s still life in Mimi, and I want to try—I think all of us facing this challenge are constantly trying to figure out how to be closer to normal. What’s normal? It can be anything. Some days I have absolutely frightening dreams.
Vilma: Would you mind expanding a little bit on what these dreams are?
Mimi: The death part. I try hard to recover from that, but that’s the hardest thing to recover. On the other hand, I’m very fortunate because I still have a reasonable amount of cognizant thinking, and I try to carry on. I’m helped by others. People are kind. Good friends are hard to replace, and good children are hard to replace.
Vilma: Do you have any regrets in your life or anything you would have done differently?
Mimi: Oh, my goodness, do you have a piece of paper? My biggest regret, I think, is that I didn’t spend more time with my children. And we don’t get makeovers. We do what we do, and it’s history. You can’t undo whatever damage occurred by substituting babysitters for all that stuff so I could be a successful businessperson. That’s my biggest regret. But I’m not pounding my chest. I’m just trying to look objectively as often as possible at the strange and curious life I’ve lived for 89 years. That’s a long time.
Vilma: What things do you see in this world that you hope there are more of?
Mimi: Leadership. Both parties. It used to be that people who were elected served people and solved problems. They didn’t fight over which position they were in. What’s going on right now is a bad formula on both sides, and I pray for the country, and the people. It’s frightening what the Supreme Court is doing not once but twice, and God knows how many more times. But these are all things that your generation must think about because if we become totalitarian as a nation, we won’t enjoy life. And that may be theoretical to some people, but that is a possibility, at least as I see it from a distance.
Vilma: If you had the power to solve one problem, one thing in this world, what would it be and why?
Mimi: Oh my, I would need more time to think about that. Well, the one thing you must do is you must look opportunities square in the eyes. It’s important that we seize them, or they die. Be prepared to capture opportunity. Be prepared to do something you believe in.
It’s kind of bad business policy to publish a magazine free. There’s no revenue. But I’ve always wanted to have a voice. I’ve always wanted to have the freedom that my parents didn’t have when I was growing up. So, I believed that I had good ideas. I believed I could do some things that other people thought they couldn’t do, and a couple of them I’ve done because I’ve believed in them and committed myself to make them happen. I’m probably the proudest of the things in Happy Valley that I either chaired or co-chaired and made happen.
Vilma: What are those things that you’re most proud of?
Mimi: The Renaissance Fund dinner, Pink Zone, the Osagie scholarship is my most recent effort, the new EMS building, and the list goes on and on. I feel so good they’re all part of my legacy, and I loved every moment of doing that. Hard work, but I learned a lot, and I met a lot of people. I have a lot of people who respect me and have turned into friends I’ve done business with because I’ve tried to help them in their business. I have always wanted to be a part of progress and make things happen, and I still have that in my system without the intellect that comes out with it. But I know I can do certain things. I have the pleasure of trying to do things that will help others, like this interview.
Vilma: Being Jewish, how have your faith and religion been a part of this aging process?
Mimi: I must confess that in my moments of wonder that you get with aging, religion hasn’t been one of the puzzles. My position is I’m not that religious, but I do believe in my background. I’m comfortable admitting and exposing that I am Jewish and am very proud to be Jewish. On the other hand, I’m very upset with people like [former Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin] Netanyahu because he’s too ready to go to war. I don’t think that’s part of my faith. But that’s a country, not a religion. I’ve never hidden my religion, and I think one of its charming parts is that Yiddish is a very beautiful language that captures the spirit of Judaism.
I also am very concerned about the future of the religion, not just Judaism but all religions. They’re all having financial issues, and there will also be great change because of technology. What will happen with faith in the next century will be an unusual history.
Vilma: What kind of things make you happy?
Mimi: Well, my daughters and grandchildren make me happy. [My daughter] Nan is sitting here, and she makes me very happy. She disciplines me too. I’m happiest when I’m helping others. I’ve been blessed—I’ve had a good life. I’ve been able to have whatever I’ve wanted to have. And I’ve been able to get to know people like you and famous people, infamous people. I’ve just had a wonderful opportunity in this community, and so does everyone else. You just have to see it. It is a unique community on both sides of the avenue. I would prefer it without the high-rises.
But I’ve been blessed. Yes, I’ve had my losses in my life, but everyone does. You can’t pick your poison; it just happens. I feel blessed that I have spent a major part of my life in a community like we have that bothers to be so supportive of nonprofits in every respect. And we all should be a part of that challenge.
Vilma: During the Arts Festival this year, the Centre County United Way had a wall where people could donate $20 to leave their handprint, a mark of support on the wall, and write their name underneath.
Mimi: That’s a great idea.
Vilma: For a $60 donation, a family of six can place handprints on the wall, so I took my daughter Lizzy, my son, Henry, and baby, Sierra, with me to leave our mark of support for the Centre County United Way. Sierra, being 15 months, was probably the smallest handprint on the wall.
Mimi: Well, that’s a good note to end this conversation. That’s an idea that somebody came up with in this remarkable community.
Marking a Lifetime of Giving
Last month Mimi stopped by the United Way mural wall along Kelly Alley to add her own handprint. Meeting her at the wall were Vilma Shu and Leanne Lenz, executive director of the Centre County United Way.
“Mimi has been a member of the Centre County United Way Tocqueville Society for almost 20 years and has given over $150,000 throughout that time,” Lenz says. “She also served many years as a member of the Women’s Leadership Group. In addition to her generous financial support, Mimi has contributed a great deal of her time and talents to support the Centre County United Way and those we serve. Mimi has deeply impacted the well-being of our community in lasting ways, and we are incredibly grateful for her support.” T&G
