Sean Clifford is at peace. That much is apparent as he grins, holding court for a handful of reporters still lingering in the media room following Penn State’s 30-0 thumping of Maryland. It’s harder than it might seem, finding serenity in the twists and turns life has to offer, but Clifford appears to have found that balance.
Some of this peace may be found in self-awareness. Clifford is not deaf, nor blind; he is aware of his standing among many fans. Familiarity with Clifford has bred contempt and the presence of a high-end quarterback prospect on the sidelines has only accelerated the less-than-subtle breakup. Penn State is simultaneously on its way to a second 10-win season under Clifford’s watch while also going through the motions until it takes another crack at Michigan and Ohio State. Even in success there is failure, perhaps the most unenviable part of being a quarterback.
In many respects, there is success in that failure. Clifford will leave Penn State in effectively no worse shape than how he found it. He may have never been the answer to James Franklin’s prayers, but he was a capable steward to the idea that consistency — even at an a simply above-average level— is far better than volatility. Clifford will leave Penn State with the program alive to see another day, and there is value in that.
All the same, on a human level there is undoubtedly an emotional challenge that comes with being Sean Clifford. He knows, years into his career, that as Senior Day comes and goes he will not hear the cheers that his predecessor, Trace McSorley, did. Clifford’s name will be called, he will run out of the tunnel and the cheers will be as much a product of polite appreciation as they will be for his unofficial goodbye to the program. Put out to pasture at a stadium surrounded by them.
Sean Clifford, now Penn State’s all-time leading passer with 10,023 career yards following Saturday’s win, has been relegated to politely appreciated by some fans and outright despised by others. Clifford was not what they wanted, and years of seeing that has eroded away the pretending this is not the case. To make peace with that takes more grace than many might have, to know that you are disliked by some and to put on a smile anyway. It’s no small feat.
“Realistically for me, I just am so blessed to be in the position that I am,” Clifford said. “Somebody not liking me or liking a throw or a boo here or there, realistically, it’s fine because for me, I’m just so content. I enjoy every day. I love being myself and being able to have the experiences that I do. And I can’t ever be mad about my situation because I’ve just been blessed with so many great people. My family, my friends, my teammates. So, yeah, I just look at it from the bright side.”
For all the good fortune Clifford may feel, he is undeniably closing in on a crossroads. While his head may been deeply buried in the now, there is a reality that Clifford could be playing in his final three football games — ever. There is nothing guaranteed, nothing saying that he will play football again after Penn State’s bowl game. In theory, nothing guaranteed that an injury won’t take the game from him sooner than that.
It’s a curious place to be, in the transition zone between the game you’ve spent your entire life playing and the moment that it becomes the thing you used to do. Clifford might be more than football, a budding business venture could become his calling in life, but he did not end up becoming Penn State’s starting quarterback because of a casual interest in the game. And that game could be gone soon.
Nevertheless, the work, the effort, the good and the bad, it can wear a guy out. No matter how happy you are, no matter how positive you might be, the long days and longer nights come for us all. And at the end of a long journey there is a sadness in it ending but also a relief in that moment as well. The ring has melted, the journey is over. It is done.
“One of the first things I was taught when I came into this program was appreciate it,” Clifford said. “Appreciation and being able to really think about all your blessings and never have any regrets. That’s one of the [things I’m most proud of]. I can say I don’t regret anything that has happened. Like I’ve said in the past, do I regret a throw? Yeah, for sure. Bunch of throws, hundreds of throws.
“But at the same time when it comes to how I’ve approached the game, how I’ve approached every single day in the locker room — did I have some bad days? Yeah, for sure. But at the same time I know I’ve given this program everything I’ve got. I laid my guts on the line for this place. … I love everything about Penn State. And it’s gonna be sad to leave but at the same time, myself and the Penn State community is definitely ready to see someone new. I’m with them,” Clifford said with a smile and laugh.
It’s a graceful thing knowing your part and seeing it to completion. Clifford will never leave Penn State the hero he wanted to become. The Cincinnati kid will leave having come up short against Ohio State. He will have never won a Big Ten title or made the playoffs. He will be remembered by many fans in a bucket of Penn State quarterbacks that did some good and some bad. If Penn State ever retires numbers, his will not be among those first to hang in the rafters. Clifford will have lived out his dream, but it will not have ended quite the way he might have imagined it.
There is some defeat in this, but there is victory too, that Sean Clifford can play out his final games in a Penn State uniform with a smile on his face, loving it just as much as ever.
