“Time keeps on slipping, slipping, slipping into the future.” This is a line from one of my generation’s best rock songs, “Fly Like An Eagle,” by The Steve Miller Band in 1976. Younger readers may know singer Seal’s version from the 1996 Michael Jordan movie “Space Jam.” Time does indeed seem to pass by faster and faster the older we get. It is a constant reminder that it is the most valuable possession we have while on this blue sphere.
It is that reminder of the value of time that inspired a column I recently wrote titled “The Best is Yet to Come.” I discussed our decision to build a new home and to move to the Lowcountry of South Carolina for part of the year. In fact, we’ll be heading there to attend the grand opening of the EnMarket Arena in Savannah, Georgia, a short 25-minute trip from our future home.
Well, I got an ear full in person as well as numerous concerned texts and emails from some friends after the article was published and the news appeared in our annual Christmas letter.
“JoeBa, who are you kidding. You will never retire!”
“Come on man, you know you will never leave State College.”
“Mr. Penn State is moving to ACC country? Say it ain’t so Joe!”
I had to chuckle a few times at the reactions I received. I really don’t like “absolutes” when someone uses “never” and “always” because the only constant in most of our lives is change. So let me clarify a few things.
First, neither my wife, Heidi, nor I are “retiring,” at least not completely. I will continue to write, speak, offer Pragmatic Passion “Take Charge of Your Life” programs for schools and businesses and I plan to author a few more books. With technology we can both do our work from anywhere these days as well as keep in touch with our many friends here.
Secondly, we will be spending our share of time in Centre County as we intend to spend summers and holidays in Happy Valley. You can’t get rid of us that easily!
We have thoroughly researched how to spend the “fourth quarter” of our lives. My wife and some of my closest friends would even say I am obsessed with making the next chapter of my life count. The question we get the most is what made you decide to do this and why now? The answer is pretty simple. It’s all about time. It’s the realization that our physical time on Earth is finite and it is indeed “slipping, slipping, slipping into the future.”
“The book of life is brief,” as another great artist of my era, Don McLean, sings in “And I Love You So.” The impact of the pandemic has been a big part of reassessing what we want to do in the fourth quarter of our lives and the decision to do it now.
But there are other factors as well that have led to our decision. Eight friends and family members between 57 and 70 have passed away in the last 18 months. A couple of them hit me very hard. I lost a lifelong childhood friend to an aneurysm in May. He had just had an annual physical that said he was the picture of health. A work colleague recently passed away from cancer at 58. I also have two good friends with spouses that are suffering from early onset dementia in their early 70s and I have seen the feeling of despair and disappointment that all they had planned and delayed until retirement was suddenly dashed.
A few years ago, I was sitting with the father of a former Icer player at the hockey alumni banquet and he was just four months away from an early retirement at age 62. He was so excited about his plans for retirement and the travel he and his wife had saved for throughout their lives. Shortly before his 62nd birthday we received the news that he passed away from a heart attack. It was devastating.
Well, I will be turning 62 in July. After years of discussions with my wife about what we want to do with the rest of our lives, money and physical possessions suddenly paled in consideration of how much real time we had left to accomplish our goals and to live a fulfilling, joyful and exciting final few chapters of our lives. The 1980s were the era of excess highlighted by the Michael Douglas film “Wall Street.” His character, corporate raider Gordon Gekko, gives the now infamous “Greed is good” speech with its message that “whoever dies with the most toys, wins.” That philosophy doesn’t appeal to us at all.
I have watched too many people stay in jobs they despise and those who believe they were so essential and irreplaceable to the success of their businesses or department, that they stayed longer than necessary. I have never been one to subscribe to the idea that if you stop working, you’ll die. Quite honestly, I think that’s sad. I subscribe to the belief that “No one on their deathbed wished they would have worked another day.”
People should have enough hobbies, volunteer and philanthropic activities and adventures to try while they are healthy enough to enjoy them. Are you living to work or working to live? We should all find time for “play” and to try new things that satisfy curiosities that have been put on hold because of a career. We should all get to travel before it becomes too hard.
This is a highly personal, emotional decision and I certainly don’t mean to imply that my wife and I have it all figured out. We don’t know if our plans will all pan out, but one lesson hockey taught me was that “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” But you must do you. I am advocating that you give this the time and energy it deserves. I am always distressed when I talk to friends who have given what they want out of life so little time and thought. Of course, retirement planning would be a lot easier if we knew the exact moment when we were going to “expire.” I have always subscribed to my wife’s former employer Ed Meiser’s philosophy that “most people will run out of time long before they run out of money.”
The most important question you must answer is, “What do you want?” Asking yourself (and your spouse/significant other) this tough question takes time, courage and focus. Most people intuitively know this but are either afraid to admit it or to embrace it because it requires tough conversations, difficult choices and change. But it is essential to have this discussion. I realize that some spouses put this discussion off because, well, they really don’t want to spend a lot of time together! Some of you may have spouses that are deceased or have serious health issues, or you may be single or divorced. All of that must be factored in but it shouldn’t stop you from researching this vital aspect of your life.
As I mentioned earlier, I am borderline obsessed with planning for my golden years. In full disclosure, I am in the process of writing a book about my own experiences researching the why, what, when, where and how of a happy retirement. I have read a lot of books (my favorite is “How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free: Retirement Wisdom That You Won’t Get from Your Financial Advisor”), listened to many podcasts (“The NewRetirement Podcast”), and watched a lot of webinars and videos. I want to share that journey and the resources with others to save them time.
One example is a worthwhile YouTube video titled “5 Things You’ll Wish You Knew Before You Retire” by James Conole, of Root Financial Partners. In the 10-minute video, James mentions that, “We focus only on the financial component of retirement. We need to also focus on: Am I emotionally prepared for retirement? Do I know what I am retiring into? What is going to be before me as I retire?” He lists the following top five regrets of retirees:
1. “I wish we would have traveled more while we could.” Do it while you can.
2. “I wish I had something to retire to!” What excites you most, what purpose do you have?
3. “I wish I had more friends.” Have social goals.
4. “I wish I hadn’t bought that big house.” Pursue experiences and create memories.
5. “I wish I had spoken with my partner about retirement.” Pursue what matters most!
So, our plan is to go south for the colder months so we can stay physically and socially active.
Biking, hiking, kayaking, sightseeing, playing golf, tennis and pickleball, joining the Civil War history club, taking cooking classes, and I even get to keep playing adult hockey. It’s not just the idea of “playing,” it’s staying emotionally, mentally, spiritually and physically active and doing it with my best friend, my wife.
I don’t know if the plan we have devised is the right thing to do for you, but we think it makes a lot of sense for us. The beauty is that we are trying it early enough that if it doesn’t pan out, we have built in the option to “pivot.” Your plan doesn’t have to be this or that. Perhaps it’s some hybrid approach that will work best for you. You do you. But be sure to do your research and make your plan.
We are all trading our time for something. Make it worth it. What we have determined is there is no reason to wait any longer to implement our plan because “Time keeps on slipping, slipping, slipping into the future.”
